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Albacete Warrior captures British humour perfectly. Its witty one-liners, cutting attitude, and brutal observations are hilarious. Moreover, it embodies some satirical elements to enhance the experience. However, its dated mechanics and rinse-and-repeat gameplay taint an otherwise excellent title. On top of this, the dedication to a specific comedy approach may alienate its audience. Yet, I think it offers enough to keep you going.
Developed by FAS3 and Eastasiasoft Limited and published by the latter, this is a 3D fighting adventure game. What’s more, it has 2D sprites, smutty dialogue, and Donald Trump! Consequently, what else do you need? Well, I would have liked some more depth, much better controls, and the ability to judge depth perception. Instead, you are left with a sluggish game that is obsessed with cock jokes (more on that later).
Albacete Warrior is a classic story of revenge and redemption.
The action focuses on a trio of unlikely heroes. There is a Spanish ninja called Benito, his pet chicken Pepito, and a wise sensei called Paco. This trios dojo is destroyed and Benito seeks revenge. Subsequently, what unfolds is a classic story of gargantuan bosses, plenty of underlings, and many “cockslaps”. The story takes you across the globe as you gather gems to save Paco. Unfortunately, when the dojo was destroyed, he lost his body. Yet, somehow he survived, and you are determined to gather the magic crystals and right the wrongs.
As you can tell, the plot is absolutely bonkers. What’s more, the one-liners and insane dialogue are crazier still. The trio squabble amongst themselves like a group of old women. However, this leads to many belly laughs and a whacky adventure. Thanks to the immature writing, you’ll hear poop jokes, plenty of innuendo about Benito’s cock, and many other silly phrases. As I have the mindset of a teenager, I was thoroughly amused. But this guttural dialogue may not be for everyone, especially if you lack a sense of humour.
Combos, repetitive combat, and poor angles.
If your USP is fast-paced combat, you better get this right. Unfortunately, Albacete Warrior wasn’t as good as its peers. Disappointingly, the combat is sluggish, arduous, and ruined by the appalling depth perception issues. The combination of a 3D pixel world and 2D sprites failed miserably. Unfortunately, things were made worse as there was no free-flowing camera. Consequently, you’ll misjudge your jumps, miss your opponents when fighting, and generally walk about like a headless chicken.
Though the combat frustrated me, I loved the range of attacks at your disposal. With many combos to master and a chicken to unleash, it had plenty of potential. When played casually, it is as enjoyable as it is mindless. However, extended gaming sessions were annoying and off-putting.
A short game that is full to the brim.
With 5 chapters to complete and plenty of parkour moments, your patience and dexterity are tested throughout. Furthermore, the developers have packed every stage with opponents, traps, and a colossal boss to defeat. The brutally tough bosses kick your ass repeatedly. Yet, once you understand their strengths and weaknesses, you’ll defeat them with ease.
Alongside this, you must search each stage for beer and food for healing, and random Buddhists that act as a shield. The latter element was very strange, but it complemented the other weird elements. As such, I simply shrugged and carried on fighting.
Albacete Warrior has a distinct style.
Visually, Albacete Warrior won’t amaze you. Yet, I loved its distinct style, bright colours, and interesting stage design. Furthermore, the parkour elements take the game to another level while incorporating the ninja theme. On top of this, the combat and animation both look smooth. However, there were many glitches and issues with the scenery. NPCs would ghost in and out of buildings and through solid items. This was disappointing, as it ruined an otherwise good finish.
The audio was perfectly suited to both the theme and genre. I loved the varied soundtrack and the crunching sound effects. My only complaint was the lack of acting. Now, I appreciate it wasn’t entirely necessary, but it would have been nice to hear some of the witty jokes.
Slow controls.
The controls will annoy you. The slow inputs, combined with the awful depth perception, make every task difficult. Furthermore, the combat is sluggish and trying to annihilate an army of foes is harder than it should be. Unfortunately, this issue also impacts the navigation elements and seriously undermines the majority of the gameplay. On a positive note, the combos are easy to understand and the fundamentals are simple to master.
Another problematic element was both replay value and longevity. Although the developers incorporated a simple scoring system, it was pointless. Subsequently, once you work your way to the last boss, you won’t feel the need to return.
Albacete Warrior is saved by its humour.
If Albacete Warrior wasn’t so funny, it would be terrible. Its humorous nature and excellent dialogue are what make it fantastic. However, you can’t ignore the terrible depth perception and woeful controls. I was willing to overlook these issues simply because I laughed so much. Yet, if you fail to find it funny, you’ll hate it. Accordingly, I recommend that you buy it despite its shortcomings. Can you save your sensei and seek revenge? Jump, fight, and “cockslap” your way to victory.
