Sometimes they make for funny fail compilations, but they always show the truly evil menaces of society.

Dear lovely reader, I am writing this to you from the most blessed day of the year: Amazon Prime Day!

Here, there are festivities like none other. From deals on command operated robots that listen in on your conversations to a reduced price Star Trek boxset, you can find anything.

What’s there when you need a major toilet paper restock? Amazon! What’s there when you need a dress for a wedding that your ex is most certainly going to be at? Amazon!

With a click of a button nowadays, we can have anything delivered to our front doorstep in two days time. And we can possibly have it stolen too.

It has kind of become a trend in the past couple of years to post surveillance camera videos and photos of these package thieves to Youtube or Facebook. Sometimes they make for funny fail compilations, but they always show the truly evil menaces of society.

Besides Amazon, there are a plethora of sites on the interwebs that can lure you in with good deals, fast shipping, and somehow that thing you were just talking about yesterday.

But, should we trust every one of these websites? Absolutely not!

One of my favorite moments of online shopping is when you come across an item that has been on your wishlist for so long that you have a picture of it is as your phone’s screensaver. 

However, the price seems too good to be true and the shipping is estimated at 91 days.

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Additionally, there is typically some really bad, broken English that uses twenty words to describe what you’re purchasing.

These are sites you probably shouldn’t put your credit card information into, regardless of how bad you wanted those wireless earbuds.

Another way online retailers get you while you’re shopping is by flashing crazy ads that tell you to buy in thirty seconds to get 70 percent off, only today!

Here’s a secret: close out the tab, delete your browser history, and go back to the website. Your time exclusive deal is now infinite.

Also, that online exclusive coupon is only going to take care of the shipping fees. So, you might as well just go ahead and pick it up in store if you can.

As an online shopping connoisseur, I can admit that though sometimes things may be genuinely cheaper online, in-store purchases are still a necessity.

Just as items can be found online for low prices, Walmart is always going to be around the corner selling something similar for a lower price. It’s just about being smart and “saving money” to “live better.”

Additionally, as someone who lives a secret double life and works part-time in the retail industry, I can assure you that customers come in all the time with items they bought online for double the price it is in store.

Also, please stop asking if you can use that online exclusive coupon in store because, no, you can’t. It is indeed exclusive to online.

I am, however, self-aware. I can admit that I have a problem, and online shopping is an addiction to its very core. It is its own, individualized, unbreakable habit that compares to none other. And I’ve fallen to the addiction.

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And I mean the word “addiction” in the way like the Amazon Prime delivery person literally knows my name. Also, my parents know to check the front door for any new packages when they get home from work.

My yappy dog even knows not to bark when the UPS man, John, arrives.

Do I plan to change this? I’m a teenager. So, no, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.



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